Inspired by fiXed's bad spelling I am going to write a book called The Catheter in the Rye and that will, I hope, become the worst most succesfull book ever.
Other candidates by the way are anything by the Liar and Charlatan Jeffery Archer, Grapes of Wrath, Of Mice and (yawn) Men and The English Patient.
But you needed to read it to understand King Dork, which was absolutely hilarious. Written by one of the members of the Mr. T Experience, for anyone that follows bay area local music. 3 and 1/2 tits, 0 heads roll, Joe Bob Briggs says check it out.
It's actually a typo in three places. This claim, Fixedd's inspiring comment, and matt's comment on the inspiring claim's comment a little ways up from Fixedd's.
I saw all three of these yesterday and was beginning to question whether or not I actually knew the correct title, since I actually read the first part of that book, and "Catcher in the Rye" never made sense as a title anyway.
@tad: no I fucking didn't. What a boring load of old tripe.
@david: it refers to the sport of baseball, a catcher has run back so far from the field that he ends up in the Rye. Of course, the published cut that bit from the book. It would have been less shite without it.
It's a little known fact that the bits about baseball cut out from "The Catcher in the Rye" went up to make The Field Of Dreams thus kicking Kevin Costner into stardom.
So that's two bad things about the book. The book itself and the fact that it was responsible for Waterworld.
"Catheter in the eye" is better. If you think about it from the Japanese viewpoint.
By the way: If you ever have a catheter fitted, don't be tempted to try and remove it yourself by pulling it out by the rubber tube: it won't come out unless the bag at the end of it, which is inside your bladder, is deflated.
Harking back to our conversation about TV comedy and "The Office", Nic: I found reading "The Catheter in the Rye" similar to watching that wretched programme.
I had one after a big operation because a combination of post op anxiety and bucket loads of anaesthetic stopped me being able to pee. I had it in for about a week, and during that time, I never felt the urge: it just trickled out on a continual basis.
I heard on the radio that mice urinate constantly.
I've never finished it because I thought it was shite.
I was prejudiced against it before I started it because it is so popular with dick heads. And it did nothing in the first 50 pages to dispel that belief.
I don't often waste my time on stuff like that. If I meet enough worthwhile people who think I should read it I will have another go.
As for The Office, nothing can convince me it is funny. It isn't funny. It is pathos and pathos isn't funny it's just cruel.
Well... to read them you have to get used to the language. They are meant to be played.
I can do nothing but recommend my favourite shakespeare implementations:
- Brannagh's Henry V is just the best; great film and play about war and politics
- Brannagh's Much Ado About Nothing is great little romantic comedy
- Brannagh's Hamlet is damn fine if you want to get heavy with the bard
Well, I'll give it a try. There is a kaurismaki film based on Hamlet which a Japanese girlfriend dragged me to see donkey's years ago: I would have fallen asleep if I'd have been on my own.
Eh, I don't like Brannagh's portrayal of Hamlet (only thing of his I've watched).
Tad: I like WoT, but the problem with it is that somewhere around book 7, Jordan decides to stop actually making anything happen and to start just reverting every change and bit of progress he wrote about in books 1-6.
"Why, yes, they DID defeat several of the Forsaken. But they're back. All of them. Plus some new ones that haven't died."
And now Jordan's dead, after everyone pointed out that he probably wouldn't survive until the end of the series he kept needlessly dragging out. My condolences go out to his family, but it's hard not to be annoyed at him after classic examples of wasted time like 'Crossroads of Twilight.'
If someone had to read through all ~5,000+ pages of WoT in high school for one class, they'd go berserk.
@ Alk: true, the plot definitely seems to stagnate after the conquest of Illian. But the last book is going to be finished and I will buy/read it when it comes out if for no better reason than closure (so if the widow Mrs. Jordan leaves the ending "open to interpretation" or a cliff-hanger then I will have to kill somebody at Tor Publishing).
Discussion (61)
I'd say 1984 is worse.
nah Ulysees is a pile of readable poo
Never heard of it.
But Ulyses isn't popular.
Inspired by fiXed's bad spelling I am going to write a book called The Catheter in the Rye and that will, I hope, become the worst most succesfull book ever.
Other candidates by the way are anything by the Liar and Charlatan Jeffery Archer, Grapes of Wrath, Of Mice and (yawn) Men and The English Patient.
Claims inspired by this comment
The English Patient is an example of the book being worse than the movie.Nic its a 'classic' probably still in print too for some odd reason because i own a copy of it
I've read (most) of Ulyses (I don't believe anybody reads it all it's just so boring) and it was utter shite.
Even the famed Molly Bloom bit at the end... I think most people like that because it's a trifle more animated than the previous drudge.
I vote for The Catheter in Yer Eye.
Ha!
But you needed to read it to understand King Dork, which was absolutely hilarious. Written by one of the members of the Mr. T Experience, for anyone that follows bay area local music. 3 and 1/2 tits, 0 heads roll, Joe Bob Briggs says check it out.
this is a good candidate for stepwise refinement to correct the typo.
I didn't even realize there was a type until I saw the comments. Proof that it's hard to proof-read yourself.
@ nic: you didn't like "Of Mice and Men?"
It's actually a typo in three places. This claim, Fixedd's inspiring comment, and matt's comment on the inspiring claim's comment a little ways up from Fixedd's.
I saw all three of these yesterday and was beginning to question whether or not I actually knew the correct title, since I actually read the first part of that book, and "Catcher in the Rye" never made sense as a title anyway.
I had assumed that Fixedd was misspelling on purpose, to match the original comment.
@tad: no I fucking didn't. What a boring load of old tripe.
@david: it refers to the sport of baseball, a catcher has run back so far from the field that he ends up in the Rye. Of course, the published cut that bit from the book. It would have been less shite without it.
that's funny, nic, but i recall a differnet explanation from actually reading it...
It's a little known fact that the bits about baseball cut out from "The Catcher in the Rye" went up to make The Field Of Dreams thus kicking Kevin Costner into stardom.
So that's two bad things about the book. The book itself and the fact that it was responsible for Waterworld.
And the Postman (except I liked that movie).
Never seen that one.
Similar "last hero with whiney voice" type stuff I imagine.
Oh, very much so.
Any 'classic' is better than some of the hyper-popular tripe out there today. God have mercy on our souls if Harry Potter is ever in the cirriculum
Well, hell, it's better than Wheel of Time being in the curriculum.
That'd put children off reading entirely.
I liked the WoT series... Of course, I started reading that when I was 6.
Show off. No wonder no one will accept you in to the core jyte gang.
"Catheter in the eye" is better. If you think about it from the Japanese viewpoint.
By the way: If you ever have a catheter fitted, don't be tempted to try and remove it yourself by pulling it out by the rubber tube: it won't come out unless the bag at the end of it, which is inside your bladder, is deflated.
I hope I never have a catheter fitted they sound awful.
On the other hand I hope I live long enough to get one.
Harking back to our conversation about TV comedy and "The Office", Nic: I found reading "The Catheter in the Rye" similar to watching that wretched programme.
I had one after a big operation because a combination of post op anxiety and bucket loads of anaesthetic stopped me being able to pee. I had it in for about a week, and during that time, I never felt the urge: it just trickled out on a continual basis.
I heard on the radio that mice urinate constantly.
I've never finished it because I thought it was shite.
I was prejudiced against it before I started it because it is so popular with dick heads. And it did nothing in the first 50 pages to dispel that belief.
I don't often waste my time on stuff like that. If I meet enough worthwhile people who think I should read it I will have another go.
As for The Office, nothing can convince me it is funny. It isn't funny. It is pathos and pathos isn't funny it's just cruel.
Claims inspired by this comment
Without pathos, there is no comedy.Which people are worthless?
Despots and Doctors?
I hardly ever meet either of those.
Jyte Mayors.
Except ones with tie died t-shirts.
Is this a game?
Last word
On the road's bollocks as well, aong with all that W S Burroughs rubbish.
Yes. Utter unreadable shite.
Someone here claimed about the energy. Crap. It's just shite.
btw it's Ulysses, or Uselesses if you've tried to read it.
I Think Capote said of On the road that it was "typing and not writing".
Mind you, he only wrote one big seller which was bleedin' pre HST gonzo journalism.
Yeah well Capote also thought that nothing would come of To Kill A Mockingbird
Personally, I can't stand Shakespeare: can't understand what he's on about half the time.
Harper Lee was his best mate, wasn't she?
I should read "To kill a mocking bird". I don't need to read "In cold blood": I think I get the drift without.
Shakespeare, they're you're wrong. Shakespeare is just the business. It's brilliant.
Sorry, unless it's translated, I just don't get it. My brain must need a rewire.
I think school fucked it up for me, actually; that and Chaucer's Prologue to the Canterbury tales.
Having to read plays out in class used to scare the living shit out of me.
Well... to read them you have to get used to the language. They are meant to be played.
I can do nothing but recommend my favourite shakespeare implementations:
- Brannagh's Henry V is just the best; great film and play about war and politics
- Brannagh's Much Ado About Nothing is great little romantic comedy
- Brannagh's Hamlet is damn fine if you want to get heavy with the bard
Well, I'll give it a try. There is a kaurismaki film based on Hamlet which a Japanese girlfriend dragged me to see donkey's years ago: I would have fallen asleep if I'd have been on my own.
Yes. Hamlet's a sort of shakespeare nut's play.
I sat my 14 and 9 year old nephew's through Brannagh's Henry V. They were riveted. It *is* riveting.
They needed a bit of help, some explanation of the odds and stuff - but most adults would be fine.
Eh, I don't like Brannagh's portrayal of Hamlet (only thing of his I've watched).
Tad: I like WoT, but the problem with it is that somewhere around book 7, Jordan decides to stop actually making anything happen and to start just reverting every change and bit of progress he wrote about in books 1-6.
"Why, yes, they DID defeat several of the Forsaken. But they're back. All of them. Plus some new ones that haven't died."
And now Jordan's dead, after everyone pointed out that he probably wouldn't survive until the end of the series he kept needlessly dragging out. My condolences go out to his family, but it's hard not to be annoyed at him after classic examples of wasted time like 'Crossroads of Twilight.'
If someone had to read through all ~5,000+ pages of WoT in high school for one class, they'd go berserk.
I think Henry V is the best actually... but it might be Much Ado. They're both amazingly good.
I haven't seen All's Well yet.
I vote for Much Ado...
It's good, My Lord Lack Beard.
This claim is making my Home page EXPLODE!!!!!! 61 comments + related claims... oh my!
Got yer name back, then, fixedd. ;-)
Yeah, now if I could just figure out who that puppet's master was... [twirls mustache]
@ nic: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to "show off."
@ Alk: true, the plot definitely seems to stagnate after the conquest of Illian. But the last book is going to be finished and I will buy/read it when it comes out if for no better reason than closure (so if the widow Mrs. Jordan leaves the ending "open to interpretation" or a cliff-hanger then I will have to kill somebody at Tor Publishing).
Tad: I agree in entirety; I pretty much only skimmed books after 9, but I fully plan to read the last book just to see how it ends.
Sweet, sweet closure... it's about damn time!