Pav is not only ugly, but also disrespectful and mean spirited.

You seem to like Pav.

why do you say that?

The spirit of mean is like water in our dessert.

I like a mean spirit!

well ... not mean so much as german greer.

I can't vote this claim, not knowing what Pav looks like. It is also, in using the 'is ugly' construction, in many ways no better than the inspiring claim. I can agree that Pav seems like a troll though.

"ugly" was meant to be descriptive of Pav's behavior and not literal looks because I as well do not know what s/he looks like.

I also meant for this claim to let Pav know that we at Jyte will not tolerate such behavior. I use "we" loosely.

Alas, Pav is probably a troll. Any form of attention, positive or negative, is likely to increase Pav's involvement.

Trolls aren't acting like people. They just want an emotional reaction, any reaction. They like to know that they can affect people, preferably affect them a lot with very little action on their part.

It's sad when you think about it. Young children who are insufficiently cared for will often act out and misbehave to get attention. They are so lonely that being scolded seems like an improvement. That someone is in a situation where they are so bored or lonely that they feel a need to troll... I wish they would simply interact and learn that they can gain positive attention through real human interaction. But clearly something is broken in them.

Regardless, we likely cannot fix them from a distance. So, while there is a benefit to a statement that this is inappropriate and not acceptable, the main benefit is to the real people who use Jyte. That makes the statement that most Jyte users are better than that. That they don't go around randomly hurting people. But I doubt it will change Pav.

I truly wish I could help trolls. But as long as they are being trolls it is beyond my abilities to help them. The trollish attitude disregards all content. And what they say has no real value as they are just acting in whatever ways they think will get reactions, so they have little reflection on the true person of the troll. Which means one does not have communication. And without communication there is little one can do.

I just hope that someday the troll will realize that s/he wants to be happy and can have a better life and seeks out therapy to help him/her to obtain it. But, of course, I will never know.

If you are going to take a stand against violence, it might be counterproductive to hit someone if they hit another person. The lesson they might learn is that hitting is only okay if you are stronger or have a bigger gang behind you.

Similarly, if you don't think it is good for someone to claim "X is ugly", it doesn't set a good example to respond with a similar "Y is ugly" claim.

Meh, I dunno. There's so much infighting round jyte that seems so *blah* and uncalled for that it's refreshing to every once and a while have someone on that clearly deserves to have people be nasty to them. If I say something nasty to most people on here, I feel bad about it later. Pav, on the other hand, gives me an excuse to really open up, and be as nasty as I feel like.

-GRK
Who feels remarkably like someone who supports conservation so there are more animals to shoot.

I wouldn't say I'm outlandishly ugly, I'd take the other two as a compliment though.

You forgot to also admit to smelling funny, and having a mother who never loved you. (That's probably why she dresses you funny.)

Don't worry, you can get around to that whenever you like.

I have a good relationship with my mother, should of went for the dad.

p.s. ih8fags

that's too bad because the gehs ::heart:: you

Dearest Pav,

I know we've had differences in the past, but I'd like to put that behind us. Listen, can you do me a favor? Would you ask your mother to not change the color of her lipstick so often, or at least stick to the same tones as your sister? My dick is beginning to look like a rainbow. Thanks.

Your friend,

GRK

I don't have a sister, and what you stated might of been found offensive if I was in middle school.

also, LOL@UR PICTURE UR WAERING A FUNNY HAT AND WERING A FUNNY HOLDNG A HART PILLOW LOL U MST BE RLLY FUNNY IRL AND TELL GREET JOKS ND I BET EVERY1 TOLD U ITS A GRAYT PICTUR CAS ITS SOO RANDM AND I WNT TWO2 TAER UR 1ST BORN CHEYLD IN HAF INFRNT OF U LOl!!!! 11

Alas, I knew it might have been too sophisticated for you. Tell you what, why don't you look at my comment again in a couple years, so you can be offended then.

Listen, just so you know, once you hit puberty: 1. no, it's not normal to grow hair there 2. yes, they are all laughing at you

Broken relationship with the father. that probably explains a lot of the pain.

Could we all please stop feeding the troll?

Could you all stop being faggy liberals? All I wanted to do is make some fucking claims, why did you people start harassing me?

Out of respect to JR, I'm going to avoid slamming on this most recent plea by Pav for me to talk shit about him.

ObWhinge: But I was having *fun*, and I've got so much *more* nastiness to spread.

Oh my Jesus my sweet child.. If you call the shit you've been saying nastiness you've got a lot to learn about negative communication.

oh yes, "faggy liberals" is such eloquent negative communication. please teach us more, Sensei Nasty-pants.

The Mime, look at the whole picture of what we know:

the kid has a poor relationship with his father
he views harsh language is mild and normal
he views shooting animals for fun as normal
he has a whole lot of anger
he lashes out his anger in every direction

This is really spelling the picture of an abused child. Probably by his father. My best guess is you have a 14-16 year old kid who has been abused. Probably the father is no longer in the picture, but the mother was likely also abused. He probably has no idea how to process the abuse and deal with it nor a clear model of what healthy behavior and relationships look like. So, he lashes out all over the place, and a mix of adolescent hormones does not help.

He needs help and guidance, and he probably isn't getting it anywhere. If he doesn't get it, his odds of having a long-term happy relationship are fairly low.

His comments reek with pain. Pain he clearly cannot handle.

Fighting back at him is like attacking a puppy. He's a child. And he's hurt. We can't help him from this distance. But why give him more models of attacks? Attacks seem to be all he knows. What he needs is to learn how to be a part of society in a positive way. How to earn esteem, friendship, and respect. He won't learn that from more of the same.

He probably won't learn it at all :/ but one can hope.

I really do have a lot of sympathy for trolls and I know that gets me in trouble because it annoys others for me to feed them. But behind most trolls is just a person in pain. And any nudge we can give them toward getting help to deal with that pain seems worth at least a try or two.

What is wrong with males, Rachel?
Males behave like females most of the times.
They do like and dislike quite the same things in life.

All that might be true, or he might be a spoiled brat whose daddy is never around, who knows. If he's chosen Jyte as his place to work out his issues, I see no reason to suggest to him that that behavior will be tolerated in this community. I am not his mommy or his shrink, therefore this child means little more to me than a passing annoyance. Why in the world should he be allowed to carry on like a spoiled puppy?

Because responding to him in kind will teach him nothing and will only encourage his broken behavior.

He is a spoiled and broken puppy. The problem is that rubbing his nose in it only works if the puppy doesn't have anosmia. This one likely does. So, he thinks you're patting him on the head when you try to rub his nose in his little accidents.

I still think you're giving him way too much credit and leeway. He isn't a puppy or a baby. He is a little shit who is most likely aware of his action and deserves to be treated as such.

Perhaps. I don't think he is aware of his actions.

who is

What we have with Rachel here is someone who figured out early on that she had no hope of acquiring actual friends that she expected to have as she was growing up. It must have been hard accepting the fact that the boys won't like you and that the only real chance you had was attempting to leech positive attention by being overly agreeable with the rest of the people around you.

That didn't quite work out in the real word though, did it? Nobody wants to talk to people that are unattractive and have no realistic social skills or desirable personality traits,and of course some people just ended up being embarrassed to be seen around in public with you didn't they?

I'm guessing you're 17-20, lost all hope for healthy relationships for people from school so resorted to online communities such as this. Being on this, you attempted to be as agreeable as possible to at least have somebody act like they considered you a useful individual giving you small sense of fulfillment.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you're good friends with that autistic man with a lazy eye that works with you at Petsmart, or maybe you even got asked on a date by an impotent pharmecy clerk from whom you purchase your anxiety pills.

It's clear that putrid goblins like you lurking in the shadows of online communities will never accomplish anything because they simply aren't liked, must be hard to accept, but after as long as you've been pulling your shit I'm sure you've come to terms with it.

Honestly, I really don't care to hear any corrections or modifications to any of the shit that I just bothered typing out, I just don't want to see any trace of you on my earth, including your retarded posts trying to poorly dissect my personality traits based on absolutely no valid information.

Actually Pav, I brought in a large number of real life friends onto Jyte. I have had really great relationships and am on friendly terms with all of my exes and am in my thirties. But thank you for your concern. That info is on Jyte, by the way.

I tell you this because I want you to understand that there is a better way. You are suffering and you are afraid of the information I offer you, because change is scary. Admitting pain is scary and it hurts.

And because you're still at a stage where you are so likely to make mistakes that will cost you years of suffering and you have almost no life experience to make them based on. You deserve to have adults in your life who can help and guide you, and you clearly don't have enough to help you from building up huge pits of anger and pain. I can't be there for you; I don't even know where you are. But you should have had more help. And there's a chance that if you reach out for it in the real world and ask someone to get you a therapist that you live somewhere where that will happen. You might be able to get help and have a better life.

I know my comments probably won't guide you to that. You will probably go on suffering and flailing. But it's worth a try. Because I don't believe in overlooking a cry for help - and your behavior on Jyte has been a huge scream for help.

Rachel, you have to accept the fact that you know nothing about me, and I know one thing about you. You are hideous.

There is absolutely no way that you can prove me to me that all of the shit you are saying is bullshit, and making retarded stabs at my personality when you have absolutely nothing to base it off is really not going to fucking get you anywhere.

Except that you lash out randomly in all directions - at Jyte, at me, at harmless animals that cross your path. That every comment you make is filled with anger...

Look, I'm completely irrelevant to your life. As far as you're concerned, I shouldn't matter.

What you need to do is ask yourself two questions:

Am I happy?
Am I in pain?

You don't need to answer them publicly. Just think about them. You deserve to answer them to yourself for yourself, because you should matter to you.

And if you are in pain, then don't you deserve to try to fix it? You probably think it's impossible, but there are good odds that it isn't. And you deserve a chance to not be in pain.

*isn't bullshit

Also, I want to cut out your fucking face you disgusting desperate human being. There is no way that you can make faulty intellectual stabs at me, if anything that just gives me a little hint.

You don't like being called ugly, I hit a soft spot didn't I? Is that the problem? Is that why you have the urge to appear as an authority figure and put me in my place?

As much as I'd like to say sorry for hurting your feelings, I really want to see you suffer and die so I can't exactly say I'm sorry.

Rejected failed lives have no place in this world Rachel, I can't possibly see how you haven't given up your will to live.

::yawn:: Pav and his silly rage are boring. I'd like to hear more about why he chose to come to Jyte. I'm honestly interested.

I'm not trying to put you in your place... or if I am, only in the sense that I want your place to be better than it currently is. I want your place to be glorious and happy. I want you to be strong, healthy, accomplished, respected, loved, and joyful.

This isn't about trying to make you look bad. If I wanted to make you look bad, I'd do nothing at all, since you do a great job of that on your own. No, I want you to have a good life. I believe in the potential in people. And your potential is being stifled with anger and pain.

I know that I am hurting you, and I am sorry for that. It is not easy to have your personal pain displayed publicly. There was no way around that, as you chose a medium with no private messages to scream for help on.

However, it doesn't have to hurt. You can accept it for what it is, that somebody does give a damn whether or not you suffer. I admit, I don't give much of a damn as I barely know you and the only behavior I've seen from you so far is that of an obnoxious brat. But still, you're human and you're suffering, so yes, I do give a damn about you.

Do you care enough about yourself to try to make it stop hurting so much?

There's a whole world outside that anger that involves love and respect and accomplishment. And time goes by so quickly... your life will go by and you will not be able to unmake the choices you make now, only to choose better ones later. Try to make your choices ones you will not regret. Ones that will help you to have a better life.

Rachel, shut your fucking mouth, the fact that I act hostile on the website and I attempt to run over squirrels gives you absolutely no fucking information about me, I'm assuming you don't have kids, Do you ever think why that is?

Do you think that maybe the three people you met on e-harmony haven't been as good to you as you think they were?

You honestly talk like a overconfident 19 year old that knows jack fucking shit and is desperate to fit in with the underground kids by spitting nonsense

You know, in all honesty, it really just sounds like you ran out of shit to say.

it's unbelievable how wrong you are about this amazing woman. ::collective Jyte eye roll::

It gives me the information that you act hostile on web sites and that you attempt to run over squirrels. I also know that when I mention how much pain and anger you are in you go into a fit.

You are angry. That much is obvious.

Vast quantities of anger is not enjoyable, nor are you channeling it to make you stronger and more productive. You are just being angry. Angry at the whole world, most likely.

Anger is one way of dealing with pain. And you are angry over everything, which means that the things making you angry aren't really the problem. They are your attempts to find an outlet for your pain. And it probably does help too. Good for you, you found something that helps. But it doesn't help well. It's not an overly good method. And you can learn better methods, and then there would be less pain to hurt you. Isn't that what you want? Distractions and other people to blame and ways to not hurt? You want to feel good, even if just for a moment. You want to feel like you have power, even if just for a moment.

Well, a better solution is to obtain real power over your life and to deal with the pain. You can feel good. You can be powerful. You can have control. And you can even be a good person. At least, you can give it a try?

Is trying so scary that you can't bear to? Yes, if you try you might fail. However, if you don't try you have already failed. A chance at success is better than none. Give it a try. Give having a good life a try. Or else one day you will realize that not only did you fail yourself, but you did it for the lamest of reasons - fear of trying. So, you'll never even know if you could have had a happier life.

Why is she amazing? Is that a rise to her side? That's what I'm smelling, I hit a nerve and you think she needs reassurance.

Rachel, it seems to me that you're scared of anger. You think that we should all wander the earth pilled up to our ears and giving each other hugs. That's not the way the world is.

I'm also not angry because you're attempting to analyze me, I'm angry because you are saying the same exact shit over and over again, it's getting absolutely nowhere and I just want you to shut your mouth if you've run out of shit to say.

LOL, no. she's a friend of mine and it's funny how wrong you be is all. She's pretty, strong, and fun to talk to, that's why she's so awesome. I ::heart:: Rachel, even when we disagree. :D

No, anger is a tool. It's like a knife. A knife is a great tool. I'm a big fan of knives. But a knife used poorly will cut you and hurt you. You want to use any tool in a way that helps you to accomplish your goals.

Your anger is sparking out everywhere randomly. It isn't helping you to fix any injustices in the world. It isn't motivating you to learn how to gain power and control over your life so that you can have less cause for anger. It probably is helping to distract you from the pain, but that is like using a knife as a hammer. It may get the job done, but not as well as a hammer would, and over time it's bad for the knife.

You're probably doing that because you don't have the equivalent of an emotional hammer. You have a very limited set of tools, and you're struggling on to use them as best you can. That's valiant - maybe even noble in its way. But it doesn't work very well and the longer you do it the more you'll be left with a broken set of tools and less and less ability to get anything done.

The correct solution is to go out and buy yourself the best tools you can get. And that's what I want for you - good tools. Good tools for coping with pain and anger. Good tools for using anger to your own benefit. Good tools for accomplishing your goals.

What are your goals and how are you accomplishing them?

You're spending time on a web site trying to guess at what will hurt someone roughly twice your age whom you've never met. What does that get you? Even if you were to succeed, which is unlikely, what would you have? You'd have a moment of satisfaction, a moment of thinking someone else hurts as much as you do, and then it'd go away and you'd need it all over again and need to find another target, another squirrel or person on the net to flame. And what does any of that get you? Imagine if you were to succeed all of the time? You could spend your life just hurting others and feeling smugly superior because you can destroy things. You'd be unliked and you'd create nothing but pain, but you'd feel slightly powerful. Is that the life you want? If so, then ignore me. I have nothing to offer you. But maybe part of you likes the idea of a life that isn't full of pain and has friends and loved ones in it who care about you and where you can accomplish things that you respect and that other people respect you for. And if you want a chance agt that life,then I suggest you start working on it as soon as possible, because it won't be easy - the best things never are. The easy path is continuing to be a troll. But if you take the hard path, you just might learn to love your life and yourself.

damn, rachel, you should be charging for this. have you thought of being a life coach? cause you totes could.

All people that are trolls on the internet hate their lives is what you're telling me.

I think you take the internet a bit too seriously. Either way, when you actually feel like arguing like a human being instead of wasting your life printing out long paragraphs of senseless babble you picked up from your dead x-husband, I'll be happy to engage.

I'm sorry to say that I did read some of your last babble just now.

"You're spending time on a web site trying to guess at what will hurt someone"

You're thinking that there was a big complicated thought process for me saying you're ugly? Get the fuck over yourself, there's no elaborate scheme, you got on my ass and in my eyes made a retard of yourself, I called you ugly. That's fucking that.

Please stop over thinking things. Maybe it comes with the pills you take to cope with life, but really nobody is that interested in hearing it.
and please for the love of god turn off that fucking picture because I really can't stand looking at your jew nose eyebrows, and greasy dead hair any longer.

I'm starting to feel sorry for Pav in spite of myself.

The Mime, I decided not to go into clinical psych because I didn't think dealing with other people's emotional problems every day would necessarily be good for me. I'm still not sure it would be.

I do volunteer on an advice community, which at times is very rewarding.

One of the projects I really want to work on and have on hold due to the current computer hardware problems is putting up a web site of information. I have a document in beta that has need of known revisions detailing information on emotional abuse. I want to finish that and make it easily accessible. I started writing it after assuming I could find something good online. I still think there must be something out there already written filling all of my requirements, but I couldn't find it. I wanted something that didn't assume the victim was female. Men are abused too, and I think sending a male victim to a document that assumes he is female is going to be less good for him. And I wanted something that wasn't purely about parental abuse, something that applied to both children and romantic partners. I also wanted something that didn't assume that the emotional abuser was playing the: I am so macho and better than you routine. There are two main flavors of emotional abuse I've detected (and they are often mixed). One is the I am so better than you and you are so bad that you should do what I say and you always mess up. That is well documented. But the other is that I am so weak and fragile and you hurt me so easily that you are to blame for everything and you should do as I say and it's your fault when I lash out at you because you hurt me. And that is less documented, but still common. I want something that discusses both. Also a few other details.

Anyhow, so I do hope to put up a helpful web page. Although I am quite pleased to say that the draft version has already gotten comments about at least two people who say it has helped them or a friend.

I like making the world a better place, and unfortunately (in some ways) I have been so busy with people lately that I just haven't had as much time for it, especially with the computer problems. Although on the other hand, my Scrabble skills have improved from playing with Madman, and I've recently gotten to hang out a couple times with Amphigorey, related people, and her kittens = and we got Nyarlathotep to go back to sleep. :) Just today I accompanied a house guest back to the airport. Now that I don't have a guest, I will have a little more time for the online world, but I probably still won't get back to serious projects until the new hardware comes in and is set up.

lol

Hey! who wants pie.

Me! How about coconut cream?

Actually, pav, not all trolls. Some trolls are just bored. But you aren't jurt bored - you're furious. You're in a full emotional tizzy. Why?

i would love to check out your project sometime, that sounds really needed. I'll come over with GRK sometime.

Actually, I can email you a link to the beta. It has a lot of known flaws though. I've learned a lot since I wrote it. I think I can do a much better job of making it helpful and making it likely to encourage people to seek useful help. Especially because it will often be read by those already seeking information, which already makes them in a better than average position to be helped. I just need to figure out how to email you. I can send it to Ben for him to forward, I think I know his gmail addy.

cause you're ugly

sounds good. also, i'd like to hang out anyway, silly.

::yawn:: more boring Pav rage.

Bwahahahahah! Pav, my friend, you totally have been trolled by the best. Don't worry, though, I'll be your friend. Come closer. Oooooh, I can taste your pain. Come closer, I'll give you what you need. Also, your mosquito bites are attractive. I like your picture. Let me lick your head.

Sure, come by and hang out some time. You know where I live. :)

What mosquito bites? You mean the acne or the scar?

he means your tits, little girl.

Oh, I was talking about that place where you'll eventually grow hypertrophied mammaries.

what

Glad, I don't understand what you're getting at.

You're calling me a girl? Is that what the offensive strategy is here?